Being believed is reportedly the #1 factor in a healthy recovery for a survivor of sexual assault.
Speaking up is not easy. Doing so means allowing people to pick apart how "perfect" a victim you are. It means having to deal with the fear of retaliation, losing a job or opportunities at work, having difficult conversations with those close to you who might not understand why you want to speak up publicly, and if you are victim blamed, having the will and resources to defend yourself. It means having to stand your ground against a system rooted in patriarchy, and rape culture weaved into our very social fabric. The naming, the shaming, the character assassination, and ultimately, the possibility that nothing will change—the cost of speaking up is high.
Believe Survivors is a call to action that moves beyond the idea of survivors coming out of the shadows, it is a rallying cry that as society we need to listen to and acknowledge survivors’ stories.
Belief is defined as putting your trust, faith and confidence in something, even in the face of inadequate or no proof.
“‘Believe women’ or ‘believe survivors’ is not just like, ‘Believe us at all costs, don’t investigate,’ you know, ‘If I say it, it’s true.’ It is—let’s start with a premise that people aren’t lying and at least give them the respect of interrogating what they’re saying.”
Reliving a trauma by talking about it publicly is difficult. When a survivor tells their story, they are, in a way, re-traumatizing themselves. But in community, no one is alone and we are all whole!
“Traumatic events destroy the sustaining bonds between individual and community... Those who have survived learn that their sense of self, of worth, of humanity, depends upon a feeling of connection with others. The solidarity of a group provides the strongest protection against terror and despair, and the strongest antidote to a traumatic experience. Trauma isolates; the group re-creates a sense of belonging.”
Believing survivors is a critical first step
Translating the belief in survivors into concrete progress has to relate to a structural and policy shift, but also means revisiting our education in terms of power, consent, and gender that has been ingrained in us. It’s a long road ahead but our conversations are our starting point.
We must remember that by believing survivors, we are pushing forward the movement and helping create safe spaces for them to step up and talk about their stories - and consequently - heal. We, allies and community members, have nothing to lose by believing and acknowledging, but a survivor has everything to gain by our belief in them. So let’s listen, believe, hold, carry, nurture, protect, and love up on survivors through this healing journey…